I love Michael Lohan. If love means kicking someone in the shins, then running away and laughing. I know a lot of people will debate with themselves, asking, “Michael or Dina Lohan: who is the lesser of two evils?” Look, that’s one of those questions for the ages. I have no freaking clue. They both pimp their daughter out with a zealous force. But Dina spends most of her pimping time in clubs helping Lindsay shove cocaine up her nose, then telling the press what a great mom she is and how hard Lindsay works. Whereas Michael spends most of his time talking about how messed up his family is and how godly he is. So they both talk to the press too much, so let’s cancel out that issue. What’s really left to debate is which is more annoying: doing drugs with your daughter or thinking you’re the second coming of Christ? I have no answer.

Michael Lohan wants to patch things up with his family. “Reconciliation and redemption - across the board,” says Lohan, a born-again Christian. “Just all of us getting right with God.” [Lindsay] Lohan’s visit to the Cirque Lodge in Utah was her third trip to rehab since January, a frenetic year in which she wrecked a Mercedes-Benz, released the box-office flop “I Know Who Killed Me” and was arrested more than once. She left the center earlier this month. Does Lohan blame himself for Lindsay’s troubles? “Absolutely. How can I not? I mean, we lead by example,” Lohan said in an interview Wednesday with AP Television News.

He entered a Christian-based drug and rehabilitation center in West Babylon, N.Y., after he was released from prison in March. Lohan had repeatedly said Lindsay needed the same kind of treatment. “I made a commitment when I was in there to God and to myself that, when I got out, I was going to do God’s work, and I was going to share with other people what I’ve been through and how God changed my life,” Lohan said.

He is now a spokesman for GodMen, which holds events designed to help Christian men renew their faith. Lohan said he doesn’t care if people question the sincerity of his religious convictions. “I’ve had such an effect on my family and my daughter Lindsay, and I want to show them through my example that you can right the wrongs and turn it around,” he said. Lohan added: “And I hope that the grace that has been given to me can work through my family, and that we can come back to that same place in our hearts.”

[From the Associated Press]

It’s funny how Michael says he’s had such a positive effect on his family, but the famous daughter is the only person he bothers to mention by name. He really is holier-than-thou, which makes me want to kick him some more. I really have a hard time buying it. He used to pimp his daughter, now he pimps his religion… and what it can do for his daughter. I highly doubt his motivations are good. If he were quietly going about doing God’s work, I’d have a bit of respect for him, and maybe give him a little credibility. It’s that whole, “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” thing. But Michael Lohan’s left hand is always up in the air shouting “Look at me! I am the father of someone famous!” (I imagine that he’s doing it with jazz hands) and that makes it a little bit tougher to give anything he says much credence.

Picture note by Jaybird: I know I’ve published these pictures before, but I’m making it my personal mission to make sure everyone sees GodMan’s nipples. These were taken after Michael Lohan was in prison… perhaps at the rehab facility he works at (since it seems to be an office) though I’m just speculating about that. Now we know who Lindsay gets her delicious ta-tas from.

If all Ana Ortiz and Michael Urie from "Ugly Betty" are doing for the environment here is making it look more fabulous with their presence, then they too deserve awards. Here they are at the "Environmental Awards," looking cute and coordinated on a Vespa. Man, I wish I could ride around on one of those to avoid traffic, but there's just one pressing issue keeping me from doing so--helmet-hair. Yup, the only thing worse than possibly melting ice-caps is having to walk around with my hair smooshed to my head. Sorry, Al Gore. There were also some HSM stars onhand, with Corbin Bleu and Monique Coleman in attendance, as well as Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Emily Deschanel pictured below.

Photos: WENN

See more photos (Blythe Danner, Amber Tamblyn, Corbin Bleu, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Emily Deschanel) after the jump.

If all Ana Ortiz and Michael Urie from "Ugly Betty" are doing for the environment here is making it look more fabulous with their presence, then they too deserve awards. Here they are at the "Environmental Awards," looking cute and coordinated on a Vespa. Man, I wish I could ride around on one of those to avoid traffic, but there's just one pressing issue keeping me from doing so--helmet-hair. Yup, the only thing worse than possibly melting ice-caps is having to walk around with my hair smooshed to my head. Sorry, Al Gore. There were also some HSM stars onhand, with Corbin Bleu and Monique Coleman in attendance, as well as Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Emily Deschanel pictured below.

Photos: WENN

See more photos (Blythe Danner, Amber Tamblyn, Corbin Bleu, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Emily Deschanel) after the jump.

What is with the cast of “Lost”? What must their bosses be like, to drive them to such heavy drinking? And then driving? I can’t remember the last time one show had so many actors with the same problem. My next pick for DUI getting was Matthew Fox. Can’t say why. Oh, because I once heard him say in an interview that he knows he’s incredibly manipulative and he likes to spend a lot of time naked. And I just thought “Ding! You’re going to be the next one to drink too much.” Okay not really, but my money was definitely not on Daniel Dae Kim, who plays Jin-Soo Kwon.

Hollywood actor Daniel Dae Kim has become the fourth major cast member of television’s “Lost” to be arrested in Hawaii, TMZ.com said Thursday. Kim, who plays Jin-Soo Kwon on the mystery series filmed in Hawaii, was arrested by Honolulu police early Thursday on suspicion of drunken driving. The Honolulu Advertiser reported Kim was arrested around 3 a.m. and released about two hours later. Details of the arrest weren’t immediately available, TMZ.com said.

Kim’s cast-mates Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were arrested for DUI in December 2005. Both actresses, whose characters have since been killed off the show, pleaded guilty. In September of 2006, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje was arrested for disobeying a police officer and driving without a license. His character was also killed off. The charges were later dropped.

[From United Press International]

You know that means he’s going to get killed off! I don’t know if the producers of “Lost” are really law-abiding citizens, or if they don’t want bad press, or if they want their actors to keep a relatively low profile. But what are the odds that the other three got in trouble and just coincidentally got written out of the series? I loved Michelle Rodriguez’s line about how her character was always just supposed to be a one year thing. Bull. I was already pretty stressed about “Lost” in general, but now I’m going to be all uppity until it comes back on the air in February. Yeah, freaking February.

By J. Harvey

Previously -. There were ice capades but with models, and then there were model gargoyles, and Ebony thinks her gums are too big. Oh, and almost everyone hates Lisa.

Ebony is in yellow and white and eating something by the handful out of the refridgerator door. She asks Jenah "does my personality suck that much?" If you have to ask. I'm just sayin'. Jenah doesn't know, she's thinking you look like a bumblebee right now because she scored some excellent shroomage. Seriously, these are totally natural, man. The universe MADE these. There's no harmful chemicals. Jenah tells her it's just because she acts awkward at panel. And the judges think you're actually the one with autism, because Heather seems more socially adept. Ebony reviews her run so far and says that she isn't doing anything right. She mentions photoshoots when actually she takes really good photos and they've said so. She's building stuff up in her mind and needs to stop. Ebony says she's going to smile more and "come off as a nice person". That's a howl that to her that's something that has to be worked at. Heh.

Ambreal's on the phone and laying in the phone area in a position usually only lovers and gynecologists see. Seriously, if she wasn't wearing shorts, I would know her cervix intimately. She's talking to her Dad, and relaying that she's not doing well. Dad tells her to keep focused and not to worry about a good time all the time. She's not there to party and get laid! Jeez, it's an actual competition! Didn't she make her Dads watch Cycle 8 or something? Ambreal asks her Dad to pray for her. I pray that she won't be showing us the entrance to her circle of life anymore.

More America's Next Top Model, after the jump.

"Everything's going to be OK," I imagine that's the phrase poor Britney Spears has to keep reciting to herself over and over to keep from just going ape-shit and shaving off head and beating us all with umbrellas again--that is, if she could stay awake long enough to do so. Britney's been needing some extra help these days, just to keep her eyes open. Paparazzi managed to sneak a photo inside Britney's open purse the other day, revealing that the starlet was carrying around Provigil. The prescription drug is given to patients who are either suffering from extreme sleepiness throughout the day or downright narcolepsy. However, Dr. Mark Milstein, a neuroligist based in New York, assured Us Weekly that it'd not addictive.

"This medication won't give you a 'high,' like a stimulant would."

Back in the day, when I was working a boring office job, all I needed was a constant IV of coffee and some paperclips to prop my eyes open because I hate taking medication. It makes you look crazy, unlike my subtle method.

Photos: WENN

According to a new report, Celebrity singer Christina Aguilera has named her unborn child after her husband Jordan Bratman. The Celebrity couple held a private baby shower for family and friends recently where the singer revealed the name. For this special event Christina and Jordan visited exclusive baby boutique Bel Bambini for the baby shower [...]

Oh creepiest of creepy things. Scarlett Johansson, who generally seems classy enough (at least compared to most of her Hollywood peers) gave boyfriend Ryan Reynolds the freakiest gift since Van Gogh’s ear: one of her teeth. Though the pair haven’t been together all that long, Scarlett seemed to think the best present for Ryan was a piece of herself. And what’s easier to get rid of than a tooth? Slicing off the ear has been done, and we all know that a toe is totally played out. But a tooth? Now that’s unique. What an expression of love. Apparently Scarlett had her wisdom teeth taken out a little while before Ryan’s birthday. I’m guessing the idea came to her while she was under the influence of some pretty good dental surgery drugs.

Things are, like, totally heating up between Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, and we’re not just saying so because the buxom blonde recently hit Canuckland with Ry to meet the parentals. Fraternizing with the fam is one thing, but now. This simply has become a supercreepy canoodling biz. See, Scar’s gone and given Ryan a piece of…herself? We’re not talking nooky, either. Read on…

David BeckhamRyan’s B-day was Tuesday, and last weekend, Scar-doll threw the slinky Smokin’ Aces studster an early bash at Chateau Marmont. How very nice. Can you guess what terribly unique prezzie S.J. picked to gift Ry with? A full-body massage, with each of David Beckham’s bod-guards present (just like Becks does), just to make sure everything gets kneaded properly? A walk-on in Johansson Svengali Woody Allen’s next slobbering outing? Oh, never mind, there’s no way you’ll ever guess, so we’ll just spill: one of her pearly whites. Yep, you read right.

Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton“She’d just had her wisdom teeth removed, so she had one dipped in gold and strung on a necklace for him,” says Desk Ouch!, who ran to us with the goss, practically hyperventilating with the nitrous-oxide-laced looniness. Nasty. Who do these two think they are, Angelina and Billy Bob or something?

[From The Awful Truth on E!]

Wading through Ted Casablanca’s writing is like swimming through a giant vat of pudding while searching for a pearl: you know it’s in there, but it hurts to keep opening your eyes to try to find it. Anyway. Maybe Scarlett’s just cheap. I mean if you’re already shelling out for the surgery, why not kill two birds with one stone and get a free present out of the deal? Celebrities get so much stuff for free: she probably just thought the tooth was free surgery swag and wanted to re-gift it. They sell gold paint at the craft store for about a dollar, and I doubt Ryan would notice the difference. How closely are you going to inspect the color when someone’s just given you their tooth on a chain? I pretty sure if they get married, he should expect jewel-encrusted toenail clippings.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Scarlett Johansson on set filming, ‘Midnight in Barcelona’ with Woody Allen. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Various celebs showed up to be difficult at the Frederick's of Hollywood 2008 fashion show last night in L.A. Isn't Frederick's the kinda trashy lingerie? A lot of diamond cuts over the nipples, etc. *shudder* The press was informed that they weren't allowed to ask Jessica Simpson any questions. And when Zac Efron and his slutty girlfriend (sorry, there's photos and video to prove it) Vanessa Hudgens showed up, people were told to clear out and give them their table.

After Simpson viewed a parade of runway models displaying corsets designed by celebrities, a request was made for her to share her favorite moment of the evening. But her protectors stepped in and said she had only just arrived, as Simpson, who had been there for an hour, sat next to them in silence.

Hudgens clammed up when she was asked to discuss her favorite looks of the evening, inspiring Efron to pipe in: "I'm not really an underwear kind of guy, but she is." Indeed, Efron did look bored as celebrated stripteaser Dita Von Teese performed in a gilded bird cage. Keeping a tight grip on her man, Hudgens would say only that she liked the feathers that appeared on models throughout the evening.

Let me clue you bitches in on something? All this? Goes away. You are not going to be allowed to take over people's tables and be rude to the rest of the human race for eternity. Boobs will sag and faces will melt and you're gonna be headed for the Surreal Life if you haven't been asked already. So why not lengthen it while you can and be a little more magnanimous? And Zac Efron is a woman. I swear. His trannie name is Kerri. He just looks like a "Kerri".

Photos: Getty Images/PacificCoastNews.com

Many more photos (Jessica Simpson, Rashida Jones, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Kristen Bell, Amanda Bynes, Janet Jackson, Dita Von Teese, Brody Jenner, Aisha Taylor, Rex Lee, Becki Newton, Bai Ling, Cheri Oteri, Jane Kaczmereck, Jorja Fox, Eric Szmanda, Ken Paves, Eric Balfour, Kat Von D, Kim Smith, John Cho, Marla Sokoloff) from the Frederick's of Hollywood Lingerie Show are after the jump.

Various celebs showed up to be difficult at the Frederick's of Hollywood 2008 fashion show last night in L.A. Isn't Frederick's the kinda trashy lingerie? A lot of diamond cuts over the nipples, etc. *shudder* The press was informed that they weren't allowed to ask Jessica Simpson any questions. And when Zac Efron and his slutty girlfriend (sorry, there's photos and video to prove it) Vanessa Hudgens showed up, people were told to clear out and give them their table.

After Simpson viewed a parade of runway models displaying corsets designed by celebrities, a request was made for her to share her favorite moment of the evening. But her protectors stepped in and said she had only just arrived, as Simpson, who had been there for an hour, sat next to them in silence.

Hudgens clammed up when she was asked to discuss her favorite looks of the evening, inspiring Efron to pipe in: "I'm not really an underwear kind of guy, but she is." Indeed, Efron did look bored as celebrated stripteaser Dita Von Teese performed in a gilded bird cage. Keeping a tight grip on her man, Hudgens would say only that she liked the feathers that appeared on models throughout the evening.

Let me clue you bitches in on something? All this? Goes away. You are not going to be allowed to take over people's tables and be rude to the rest of the human race for eternity. Boobs will sag and faces will melt and you're gonna be headed for the Surreal Life if you haven't been asked already. So why not lengthen it while you can and be a little more magnanimous? And Zac Efron is a woman. I swear. His trannie name is Kerri. He just looks like a "Kerri".

Photos: Getty Images/PacificCoastNews.com

Many more photos (Jessica Simpson, Rashida Jones, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron, Kristen Bell, Amanda Bynes, Janet Jackson, Dita Von Teese, Brody Jenner, Aisha Taylor, Rex Lee, Becki Newton, Bai Ling, Cheri Oteri, Jane Kaczmereck, Jorja Fox, Eric Szmanda, Ken Paves, Eric Balfour, Kat Von D, Kim Smith, John Cho, Marla Sokoloff) from the Frederick's of Hollywood Lingerie Show are after the jump.